The Healer's Garden Page 8

  "Does that change anything?"

  His anger pushed her away. “I ... I'm not sure. I haven't had time to process this. I need...” Her voice fell away. She had no idea what she needed.

  "What, Jahara? You need what?” He pressed his palm between her breasts. “The answers you seek are all right here. Feel it. Feel me."

  "What am I supposed to do?” She stared at the pain creasing his face. “I didn't ask for you to pick me out of all the females available to you in the Garden.” She ignored the single tear that worked itself free to travel down her cheek.

  His hands found their way to her arms and he pulled her close. “Jahara, since I found you in the community room two days ago I haven't been able to think of anything else. Last night was the most amazing night I've had in a very long time."

  "Yeah, well it goes without saying it was the best sex I've had in ages.” The words came out before she thought about them.

  "Best sex?” He arched a brow at her, the dimple on his cheek dancing about in delight.

  She hadn't meant to admit that, especially to him. “I mean sex with a man, idiot. And it's not like I have a lot to compare it to.” She hoped that knocked him down a notch or two. “And don't go changing the subject."

  "That is the subject, Jahara. I've never had an experience that powerful or intense with any woman. And I really don't want you to leave here and choose another breeder. I want more of what I had last night.” Leaning down, he brought his lips to her mouth gauging her reaction.

  She didn't want to feel anything for him, didn't want to react to his mouth urging her to open to him, but her body wouldn't listen and she parted her lips, allowing his silky heat to fill her. Jahara's hands found their way into his hair. She molded her body against his as if he was made for her. She had to think it was just what happened to all females during the mating ritual to keep it from being offensive. This was not unique to her and Brenimyn.

  Finally he released his spell on her and she fell back a step, giving her air to breath and room to think. “Brenimyn, our relationship can last only as long as it takes you to impregnate me. You must always remember my heart belongs to another."

  "Tell me she can give you what we've experienced. You admitted yourself you've never had such wonderful sex."

  "That's not quite what I said.” She stepped back again, putting distance between her heart and his. “Granted, being with you was physically pleasing. But there was no emotion involved."

  Had her words made him flinch? He recovered so quickly, she couldn't be sure.

  "Just spend time with me. Choose me for your breeder. Pick me to be your only mate.” He stepped to her, embracing her again. She didn't fight him.

  "Brenimyn, Kylie will never permit it.” Jahara shook her head. “She introduced you as her mate. You and she will make physically pleasing offspring."

  "You know why she's trying to have a third child? The other two were males. It embarrasses her. She wants a female birth child to take home. She won't be satisfied until she has that. So she stays here as a teacher until she can complete her task. The whole mating ritual disgusts her. You should see the cleansing process she goes through when we're finished copulating. It's insulting really. I'll be damned if that women will ever carry any offspring of mine.” A lock of hair had worked loose from her braid and he tucked it behind her ear. “I choose to give children to someone who will love them."

  "I'm not sure I'm that woman, Brenimyn."

  "I'm sure enough for both of us."

  His mouth slanted over hers and ravaged it until she was breathless. He hardened against her belly. “Brenimyn, you are so cocksure of yourself,” she said. His arms around her made her brazen and Jahara rubbed provocatively against him. “You know I'm not going to be very good at this copulating business."

  He nipped at her nose. “Oh, my sweet, I have every intention of helping you master the art of loving me."

  Her stomach flipped at his choice of words.

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  Chapter Seven

  Jahara flopped down on the couch. She'd been flitting about the apartment fluffing pillows, straightening unseen messes, fussing with her hair and clothing for two days waiting for Brenimyn to arrive. Why had she let him talk her into this? Okay, so Ishawny wasn't available, but she could have requested another breeding guide and her partner. This was such a bad idea. What made her think she could copulate with him without the aid of another woman?

  She looked out to the patio. Another swim? It could be hours, perhaps days before she heard anything from the Governmental Body. Kylie was pretty high up in the chain of command. Jahara's request to usurp the claims of another had most likely been denied. She leafed through the disks on the small table before her, hoping to find something entertaining.

  "I thought you'd be waiting at the door to greet me."

  Jahara screamed as the disks sailed in the air. She turned to see Brenimyn leaning casually against the post between the kitchen and the great room.

  "I'm happy to see you also, most honored one, cherished of humans, gifted breeder of offspring. I am pleased to be at your service.” He bowed low, his dimples framing the curve of his mouth when he stood.

  "I wasn't sure you'd come.” Her words trembled softly over dry lips. Now that he'd arrived she wasn't sure she wanted his company.

  "Your request was complicated, most honored one.” She watched his mouth form those words. I didn't think Kylie would ever release me. She pulled in all the favors she had out there, but in the end, the priority of a new breeder always takes precedence, he said telepathically. The words echoed softly in her head. “I would be happy to service you. Perhaps I could draw you a bath?” He spoke aloud for the benefit of those watching.

  Getting away from the ever watchful eye sounded good to her. She could talk with him and figure out if it was excitement or dread knotting in her stomach. Jahara snaked her fingers through Brenimyn's and allowed him to lead her to the bathroom. He released her only long enough to turn on the water faucets. Task completed, he held out his arms.

  Like a magnet, she had no control of the feet propelling her forward until she found herself standing between his thighs, melting into his embrace. His muscular arms covered her back and the tension flowed out of her body. How could he make her want him so? Male pheromones must be quite strong. Why else would she find herself snuggling against the warm skin of his chest? He smelled of soap and spice and Jahara felt as if she had just come home after a long absence.

  He rubbed his cheek against the top of her head. “My arms have been empty without you, Jahara. Something about you crawled under my skin and has been making me jittery. You're like a pleasant tickle I couldn't quite scratch until this moment."

  Looking into his eyes, Jahara saw more than just a breeder. There was something special about this man. She felt the same way Brenimyn did, but wasn't brave enough to admit it.

  Instead she let his lips brush softly against hers. She opened to him. Though they had kissed only a handful of times, he tasted as familiar as her Dame's cooking and Jahara feasted like she hadn't eaten in months. This wasn't a betrayal of Merenith's love. It was simply the physical reaction to her body's desire to procreate. Jahara hadn't realized it would feel so natural.

  Her hands worked their way under his tunic, kneading the firm muscles of his back and his tangled in her braid. He pulled her tight against his mouth. Her heart pounded with such intensity, she was sure Brenimyn could feel it too.

  She wanted him. She needed what he had given her when Ishawny was here. She didn't fear their coupling as she had a few days ago. This man was gentle and Jahara craved what only he could do for her. “Brenimyn, please, mate with me.” She gasped out the words, wanting everything his touch promised, but his hands froze on her shoulders and he jerked his head back.

  "What did you say?"

  The spark of desire that had flared so quickly in his eyes faded. His jaw knotted and his brow furrowed. Perhaps men n
eeded more time to prepare for copulation. Smiling, Jahara leaned into him, trying to capture his mouth and bring back the pleasure they shared only a moment ago.

  "I said mate with me.” She spoke in a sultry tone.

  "Mate with you?” Shoving away from her, Brenimyn plowed his fingers through the thick waves of gold and stared down at her. “Mate with you?” The question echoed off the tiled walls. Surely the audio magnifiers in the other room had picked that up.

  "Didn't you say you missed me?” She reached for him, but he wrenched his arm away before she made contact.

  "Please, Jahara, don't touch me.” He paced the floor and Jahara had no idea what she had done. He mumbled at the floor, his fingers scrubbing at his face. “This is wonderful. I copulated with Kylie nonstop for the last two days, knowing that something so much more was waiting for me. I've been counting the moments until I could see you again. I thought finally I'd found the one I've been seeking.” He stopped moving long enough to look at her.

  She knew pain when she saw it and the lines on his face spoke of anguish and misery.

  "You,” he pointed his finger at her, “you were supposed to be different. I feel it every time we're together. I thought it was real. I thought,” he sighed, “well, I guess it doesn't matter what I thought. Yeah, Jahara, I'll mate with you if that's what you want from me. But if you don't mind, I'd like to have some dinner before we do it.” He left the bathroom and slammed the door, leaving her confused and very much alone.

  Because she wasn't sure what she'd done to cause such a sudden change of attitude, she couldn't bring herself to run after him and apologize. She'd spent hours preparing for his arrival, but she stripped and stepped into the cold water of the shower, hoping it might ease away her transgression. Rubbing at her body with vicious strokes that left her skin painfully raw, she tried to cleanse the feeling of betrayal she'd unknowingly heaped on Brenimyn.

  Dressing in a long, floral dress she picked up in one of the little shops yesterday, Jahara swallowed her pride and walked into the great room with her head held high. The table was set with candles and flowers, the smell of food making her stomach grumble in protest. Her nerves hadn't allowed her to eat today.

  She peeked into the kitchen, but didn't find Brenimyn. She turned when she sensed him moving up the hall from the other bedroom. He had changed into a long-sleeved shirt and a dark pair of trousers, his bare feet carrying him into the dining area in a few long strides.

  "Most honorable Jahara, you look lovely.” Stopping a few feet from her, he bowed at the waist. “I would be pleased to serve the evening meal.” He stepped around her, pulling a chair away from the table. With a gesture of his hand, he invited her to sit.

  As the waves of his displeasure slammed into her, she tried to figure out how to repair damage to something she hadn't known she'd broken. She fell heavily into the seat.

  "Brenimyn, I'd like to talk about...” She spoke to his retreating back.

  He stuck his head around the corner. “Would you like dakaru root with dinner? It will ease you into a more comfortable mating."

  "No, thank you. Water would be fine."

  "As you wish.” He bowed again.

  What in Hades had pissed him off? She felt his arousal against her belly when they were groping each other in the bathroom. There was no mistaking that. His need was as evident as the desire throbbing between her thighs. Now he was acting like some servant unaware of how much she wanted him.

  He brought dishes from the kitchen, bowing again before standing at her shoulder.

  "It would please me to have your company at my table."

  He stared at the wall. “I am but a breeder. That is not permitted."

  "Is your primary job to please me?” He looked down at her. Even he couldn't argue with the logic she presented. “Then I insist you join me for the evening meal. I am not accustomed to dining alone."

  He reluctantly sat across from her. She wasn't sure if this was a charade for the cameras or how he would treat her while he resided here.

  Don't ask me any questions right now. I'm still too angry and hurt. His words echoed in her head.

  "I don't understand what happened."

  "Would you like salad?” Holding up the bowl in front of him, she watched his mouth form those words. I mean it, Jahara, don't press me. You forget there are people watching. But she didn't see him speak those. “It is made with fresh produce.” Again his mouth enunciated very clearly. Obviously, he was acting for the benefit of the observers. What passed between us, did it really mean nothing to you? Have you not believed the things I told you? His lips were pressed in a thin line of displeasure even as his voice echoed in her head.

  Steepling her fingers at her chin, she stared at him, still pondering the cause of his evident disappointment in her. “Brenimyn, I don't know what to believe.” She didn't know what else to say. He didn't respond and they ate their meal in silence.

  They cleared the table together and though he attempted to push her away, she insisted on helping with the dishes. This man was not her slave, merely her breeding partner. She turned to Brenimyn, his handsome face still creased with a gravity she hadn't seen two days ago.

  "Brenimyn, we need to talk. I need to understand what's happening here.” She flipped on the water at the sink, hoping it would cover the desperation in her tone. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and she placed her hand on the warm skin, feeling the power of her touch ripple through him. “It's important, please."

  "It would please me to be with you now, most honorable Jahara. Perhaps we could retire to the bedroom?” He abandoned the cleaning, taking her fingers in his and led her as he had done before. She followed him willingly.

  "Why don't you sit comfortably on the bed? Have you ever meditated? Without the use of a breeding guide, you may find it helps you relax before we...” He swirled the air with his hand, unable to complete the sentence.

  Apparently, copulating held an emotional component for men. He obviously had strong feelings for her. Males were indeed complex creatures. She needed him to understand that mating to her was merely physical. She just didn't know how to tell him that without hurting his feelings again. Everything seemed so confusing at the moment. She loved Merenith, but her body desired this man.

  Lighting candles around the room, he spoke telepathically. Jahara, there's a strong bond between us. I believe you fainted after our first session because we were connected. When I pulled from you, you lost consciousness. I think, if we try, I can pull you with me into another place away from here and away from the damn cameras. There we can talk openly.

  She looked up at the blinking red light attached to the watchful eye mounted in the corner of the bedroom, letting him know she understood. “Join me on the bed, Brenimyn.” The observers had to believe she controlled their joining.

  Sitting cross-legged, they faced each other. He took her hands in his and she stared into the icy blue depths of his eyes, relaxing her body, setting her mind free. Soon, she was freefalling, but for once, she wasn't alone in her meditation. The room fell away and they were on the bed in a meadow. She looked around not really believing she had done this with another person. But they were there—together. The wind caressed her cheek and she heard the plaintive cry of a mourning dove in the distance.

  "Brenimyn?"

  "We did it.” He moved his lips and spoke the words.

  "Is this real?"

  "For us it is.” His hand caressed her cheek.

  "What do the cameras see?"

  "I've never done this before, but I suspect they see our bodies in motion, but our words are only for us. Feel free to speak your mind, Jahara."

  "Brenimyn, I think I owe you an apology. This whole thing is so confusing and obviously I have done something to offend you."

  "No, Jahara. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. It's just that...” he paused, searching her face. “There's so much more here than you realize. I've been looking for you for so long and now you're h
ere with me in the flesh. I should have been more patient. You've only just arrived. I shouldn't have expected you to know me. I'm sorry.” His hands cupped her cheeks, his thumbs tracing her cheekbones. “Suffice it to say, we have a future together."

  "Our future will be no longer than it takes for me to birth two children. There can be nothing between us but the physical, Brenimyn. I'm afraid you are going to be disappointed if you want more."

  "Please, just open your mind and let go of all you've come to believe before you met me. I'm asking you to trust in me and what I'm saying. Just be with me. Let me have all of you, not just your body, but your mind, and spirit as well. Open your heart to the possibility of loving me. I know what I ask."

  Understanding finally crystallized. He wanted to be more than her breeding partner. He wanted to be her lover. It had never occurred to her that men might desire the same things as women.

  "Brenimyn, I told you, my heart is already taken. I've promised myself to a woman called Merenith. Right now all I know is that physically being with you is pleasurable. It also fulfills my obligation to the law of procreation. At the moment, there's nothing more I can give you but my body."

  "Then for now, that will have to be enough."

  He leaned forward, his hands fisting in her hair, his mouth possessing hers, making her want. Brenimyn laid her back on the pillows, trailing kisses about her face. She gasped, trying to replenish the air rapidly spilling from her lungs.

  His tongue flicked along the shell of her ear and he whispered, “Jahara, I have never wanted to be with a woman the way I ache to be with you."

  Though he didn't say it, she knew there were unspoken words of love hanging in the air between them. She hadn't promised him her heart, so she felt no regret when she pulled his shirt from his trousers. Her body craved the joining, demanded her to move faster. Buttons gave way as she ripped open the fabric, allowing her access to his satiny skin. He smelled of the outdoors and tasted like honey. His name tumbled out of her mouth on breathy whispers.